Zorro Ranch: Follow the Money, Part 4 — The Logical and Terrifying Conclusion
She was in Russia. He was dead. And somewhere in Texas, a family with connections to Russia and Trump was about to buy a New Mexico ranch.
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This is part 4 in what I thought was going to be a 4-part series called Zorro Ranch: Follow the Money, but which is going to turn into 5 parts, maybe more as time goes on. You can read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 here on ALISA WRITES.
There’s no easy way to explain all of this, which I suppose is the point. The complication is part of the design of the thing. And the thing is this: All the secret ways money and power connect kidfucker Jeffrey Epstein, the former owner of a nearly 7500 to 10,000 acre ranch (depending on whether you include state leased land) outside Stanley, New Mexico, to its new owners, Texas MAGA millionaires Donald (currently running for state comptroller in Texas, with one of the most fascistic campaigns I’ve ever seen) and Mary Catherine Huffines. Oh. And why those connections matter. We’ll get to that, too.
I’ll do my best to make explaining All This Shit easy, painless, and wherever possible, funny, because humor is our best — and often only — weapon against creeping despair and creepy authoritarianism both. Please know, I am aware, as I type those promises, that I probably sound like a dental surgeon. It won’t hurt at all.
There’s one of those in the middle of All This Shit, too, by the way. A dental surgeon. I realize that sounds irrelevant. Just Alisa, spinning off on a tangent. But it’s not. I assure you.
You see, there are two groups of people in this world that like to both hide their actions from the world and also seek to have in-house dental surgeons. Can you guess what they are? Take your time.
Time’s up.
One such set of groups is intelligence-gathering operations, such as, say, Mossad, the CIA and, oh, I don’t know, Russia’s SVR. And I’m not saying that’s who’s involved. But access to conscious sedating drugs can be very helpful for those kinds of folks.
The other set of groups is pedophile rings.
Don’t think about that one too hard.
Please.
In both cases, having an in-house dental surgeon grants the organization unrestricted access to conscious sedation drugs for use by group members, however they might see fit, plus immunity, through patient-confidentiality agreements, from anyone easily tracking their uses.
Fun all around.
And by “fun” I mean Definitely Not Fucking Fun At All, and, in fact, a goddamned nightmare of epic proportions.
But an interesting nightmare, where all the threads connect to make exactly the kind of scarf someone might secretly hang you with, and call it a suicide.
Let’s start with That Fucking Ranch. Zorro Ranch. The one Epstein bought from former New Mexico governor Bruce King in 1993 for a reported $12.3 million, to help him pay down his family’s $21 million of debt, according to the Albuquerque Journal archives.
It’s here, in New Mexico. My home state. Not far from me, actually. The media love to say it’s just outside Santa Fe. But truth is, it’s almost exactly halfway between Albuquerque, the state’s largest city, and Santa Fe, the state’s best publicized city because rich people like Jeffrey Epstein and his friends feel safer there than in ‘Burque. The media attach Zorro to Santa Fe for the same reason they prefer to attach glamorous photos of Epstein to stories about him, instead of, say, his mug shot: Because subconsciously, we’ve all been conditioned to think rich men are less likely to do atrocious things than All Other Menz.
Albuquerque’s proximity to Zorro matters for a few reasons. One: because, according to witness testimony in the files, Epstein’s scouts, including his ranch manager Brice Gordon, looked for vulnerable girls to traffic to invulnerable men there. And two: buried way way down deep in the files is an FBI interview — document EFTA00148211, dated April 15, 2020 — in which a source alleged that Zorro Ranch and its affiliated cabins were used as locations for rape, and that the resulting STDs were then used as blackmail to keep victims silent. The source further alleged that one female victim was raped multiple times, became pregnant, and that the baby was subsequently sacrificed and buried at Christ United Methodist Church on Gibson in Southeast Albuquerque. The source also told the FBI that victims had contacted law enforcement multiple times — and that law enforcement did nothing. Which would have sounded insane to me a couple of years ago, but which I can no longer dismiss the way I once might have.
Horrible things happened at that ranch. Rapes. Forced births. The snatching of newborns from their girl-child mothers by Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s former girlfriend, convicted in 2021 of sex trafficking, who by multiple accounts delighted in hunting children for him to rape. An anonymous email sent to radio host Eddie Aragon described witnessing two “foreign girls” choked to death during violent fetish sex and subsequently buried in the hills of the ranch on orders from Epstein and Maxwell. Aragon reported it to the FBI. Nothing was done.
This morning, New Mexico congresswoman Melanie Stansbury posted a video to Instagram stating that unredacted files show allegations of rapes and other abuses at the ranch were reported to law enforcement as early as 1996 — and were never fully investigated.
And Zorro Ranch, alone among all of Epstein’s properties, was never searched, despite being 100 times larger than his island.
Well, never investigated, that is, until this week. New Mexico’s Dept. of Justice, under the leadership of Raúl Torrez, is finally reopening the investigation that was shut down by the feds in 2019, the year Epstein died in a New York prison cell — maybe by his own hand, but it’s increasingly looking like by someone else’s.
Yesterday, under the watchful eye of New Mexico’s newly-formed Epstein Truth Commission, a bipartisan state legislative commission chaired by Rep. Andrea Romero, on-the-ground searches began.
The only problem is, it might be too late. And if it is, there are mostly two groups of people to blame for that: The dental surgeon I mentioned before, who, it turns out, inherited Zorro Ranch from Epstein upon his death, along with all his other properties, $100 million, and a bunch of diamonds; and the new owners of the ranch, Donald and Mary Catherine Huffines, who bought it in 2023 and did their damnedest, but ultimately failed as of last month, to remain anonymous.
Let’s look at them next.
Let’s start with the dental surgeon, because in a world where one saves the best things for last, dental surgeons are never the best things as far as anyone is concerned. Except maybe Jeffrey Epstein. He loved this one, at least according to the many emails the two of them exchanged — emails that detailed things like her slapping him 5 or 6 different times, and him raging at her for loving her cat more than she loved him. Her name appears more than 40,000 times in the latest batch of files.
Yes, friends, Epstein and the dental surgeon were lovers. And, yes, I am aware that using the word “lovers” is as creepy as using the word “moist,” and I do so with all associated intent.
The dental surgeon is a woman named Karyna Shuliak. She is widely reported to have been Epstein’s last serious girlfriend when he died.
But she was 20 when she met him, almost immediately after his release from prison in Florida, through an unnamed Russian woman who is said to have been a mutual friend to both. It’s almost like someone, somewhere, was starting to think This Epstein Fuckwit was a liability, and they needed to, say, insert someone into his orbit who could carry on managing whatever it was Epstein was supposed to be managing, in the event of Epstein’s eventual — ah hem — indisposition.
Someone like, say, Karyna Shuliak.
Shuliak was a dental student at the time, that time being 2009. She was middle class, educated, wicked smart, not desperate or vulnerable — meaning she was about seven to ten years older than Epstein tended to like them, and in all other personality regards, not his fucking type at all.
According to the files, Epstein met Shuliak for the first time in Minsk, her hometown, using a fake Russian name, “Russian Bear Vasily Malikov,” and he soon thereafter coached her on how to pretend to be a maid so she could enter the United States to be with him. Because, you know, a child rapist just could not live without a young professional woman whose written English, oddly, was better than his.
Shuliak’s written English in her email correspondences from the get-go is very different in tone from the writing of other Epstein victims from her part of the world. Where the groomed girls tend to write in broken, insecure, apologetic, halting English, Karyna’s English is professional perfection, her diplomacy and emotional intelligence off the charts. Most notably, her ability to manage and manipulate Epstein himself is second to none.
Also, alone amongst all of Epstein’s “girls,” Shuliak is shown in the files to be jetting around the world on her own, to meet with high-ranking government and cultural figures.
Documents released by the DOJ reveal that Epstein's own lawyer, Darren Indyke, prepared a fraudulent Crew Certification Letter in November 2016 identifying Shuliak as a flight attendant — not a passenger — on Epstein's private aircraft. In an email chain dated November 1, 2016 (EFTA00438413), Indyke informed Epstein's assistant Lesley Groff that the letter was ready for Shuliak to pick up, and Groff confirmed she agreed it would "suffice for what we need for proof of Karyna's flight attendant employment/what is required for visa." Two days later, on November 3, 2016, Epstein's pilot Dave Rodgers explained in an email (EFTA02192949) why he had listed only Epstein on the passenger manifest: "I only included JE as a passenger, because Karyna is a Flight Attendant." She was not. She was a dental surgeon and Epstein's designated heir. The cover identity — fabricated by Epstein's lawyer, confirmed by his pilot — allowed Shuliak to travel on Epstein's jet while appearing on official documents as crew rather than companion.
Total normal. And by that I mean totally not fucking normal unless you’re, like, a foreign intelligence asset. Or something. But what do I know?
Now, maybe Jeffrey and Karyna truly were in love. I have no idea, because I’m pretty sure the emotions I ascribe to “love” are nothing like the ones they do. But I do find it difficult to reconcile a psychopathic pedophile’s personality profile with that of a man who would fall in love with a smart, self-assured, educated adult woman, and change his will to leave her all his stuff two days before his death.
But, again, what do I know?
Wait. Hang on. I do know some things.
Like this: I know for sure that Karyna sent Jeffrey what appears to be child pornography over email, which should probably land her in jail. Among the 40,000 documents referencing Shuliak in the DOJ files is an email she sent to Epstein on February 4, 2013 (EFTA00529199) — while she was still a dental student at Columbia, her education funded by the man she was writing to. The email contains a single link. The URL, still visible in the released document, leads to a website called “youngpornvideos” and includes the word “teenies” in the page address. Epstein’s reply was two words: “Awake?”
I’ll leave that there.
I also know she worked for Southern Trust Company, Epstein's U.S. Virgin Islands entity that processed $184 million between 2013 and 2019 — described in court filings as a "conduit for payments to young foreign women."
She has never been charged with any crime. Which is… anyway.
She also gamed the U.S. immigration system by entering into a sham marriage, at Jeffrey’s insistence, with a woman named Jennifer Kalin, an Epstein victim who Jeffrey introduced to Kimbal Musk, Elon’s brother. That marriage lasted five years, until Shuliak got her citizenship, then abruptly ended. During those five years, emails show she was living with Epstein and in a romantic relationship (if that’s what you could call it) with him, not Kalin. Which, if a poor Honduran migrant had done it, would land them in Cecot.
Shuliak also was part of Epstein convincing Columbia University’s dental school to rethink its initial rejection of her application. After the strategic donation of $100,000 to the school, they realized their “mistake” and let her in. Maybe not jail. But ethics violations serious enough to maybe strip her of her dental licenses.
In fact, she has a dental practice right now at 6100 Red Hook Quarters, St. Thomas — the same Google Maps frame that shows Little Saint James, the island she inherited from Epstein and subsequently sold to Stephen Deckoff, billionaire founder of the private equity firm Black Diamond Capital Management, for $60 million. He promised a luxury resort. He's building a warehouse.
All these crimes, all this fraud, committed by this one woman. Yet she has never been charged with a crime, and she freely roams the streets of the United States — the heir to Epstein’s fortune, dismissed by most journalists as just another victim, the recipient of the last phone call he would ever make before he died.
Though it should be noted: the day Epstein made that call, and the day he died, Karyna Shuliak was in… Russia?
Yes. Russia. That’s what FBI agents were texting each other the morning after Epstein’s death, according to document EFTA01227447 — a 289-page FBI text chain now in the public record. One agent wrote to another: the information had come from her lawyer. Federal prosecutors, the document shows, were already aware of the sham marriage to Jennifer Kalin. They told her attorney they didn’t care about that. They just wanted to speak with her about that final phone call, and about her knowledge of and relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
She has never been charged with any crime.
As far as anyone knows, that conversation never happened.
Maybe she was in Russia that day, meeting with Sergei Belyakov — a graduate of the FSB Academy, which trains Russian intelligence officers, and the man who ran Putin’s flagship St. Petersburg International Economic Forum. Belyakov was friendly with Epstein. They met at least five times. Epstein called him “my very good friend.” Belyakov helped Epstein obtain Russian visas, gathered intelligence on a woman, Guzel Ganieva, Epstein claimed was blackmailing powerful American businessmen, and used Epstein to arrange meetings with American billionaires Peter Thiel and Thomas Pritzker. In return, Epstein tried to help Belyakov get a meeting with Putin.
Epstein’s Russian ties ran through the same security services apparatus that former Ambassador Sergei Kislyak operated within. And in June 2018 — the same summer Epstein was emailing former Norwegian Prime Minister Thorbjørn Jagland to suggest that [Russian Foreign Minister Segei] “Lavrov can get insight on talking to me” — a Dallas, Texas, businessman and state senator named Donald Huffines was on an unpublicized trip to Moscow with his twin brother Phillip, sitting across from Kislyak himself, as part of a delegation led by Rand Paul.
It wasn’t publicized. Neither brother mentioned it on social media. And Don, at least, mentions every handshake he thinks will make him look good. The trip became public only when photos and wire stories began to surface.
Paul, at least, had gone to Russia to hand-deliver and hand-written note from Donald Trump to Russian leader Vladimir Putin, according to NBC News. And in return, the Russian advocated for the Huffines and Paul to please tell Trump to release accused spy, Maria Butina, who had infiltrated the National Rifle Association and the Republican party.
People back home only found out about the trip when Russian wire services started posting photos from the meeting and reporters in Texas were, like, what in the actual everloving fuck are the Huffines twins doing in a hush-hush meeting with top-ranking Russian officials? Don told his spokeman to say it was so that Don could give the Russians a stern talking-to about them meddling in our elections. As. If.
If you’re thinking that name — Huffines — looks familiar, that’s because it is.
Donald and Mary Catherine Huffines now own Zorro Ranch. The ranch whose investigation was shut down. The ranch that was never, until literally fucking YESTERDAY, searched at all. The ranch they tried to remain anonymous in having bought. The ranch they suddenly decided to sell as the site of their future “Christian retreat” once reporters started calling. The ranch they started digging the fuck out of in the past two months. The ranch one of their sons, Colin, was listed in LLC filings as managing.
Oh. And did I tell you? Another of the four sons of Donald and Mary Catherine, Russell, the one who looks like an evil Campbell’s soup kid come to life, frankly, is presently employed as Associate Director of Agency Outreach in the White House Office of Cabinet Affairs under U.S. President Donald J. Trump, a position he has held since June 2025, according to LegiStorm and the White House's own annual report to Congress on staff.
It’s probably all just a coincidence, though.
Like it’s probably just a coincidence that Epstein wanted to run baby farms at Zorro, and Donald and Russell Huffines currently head HEST Investments, which finances Secretome, a biotech company whose chief product is made from neonatal cardiac cells harvested (ethically, they promise) from newborn babies within 30 days of birth.
Like it’s probably just a coincidence that Secretome and Secret Home are homonyms.
Like it’s probably just a coincidence that Zorro is a fictional masked vigilante who pretended to be a member of high society to find his next targets — which, if Epstein was running a honeytrap Kompromot operation, he also was.
Like it’s probably just a coincidence that the Huffines renamed Zorro Rancho de San Rafael — after the Archangel Raphael, whose name in Hebrew means "God heals," who is the patron saint of physicians and travelers, and who, in the Book of Tobit, moved through the world in disguise, under a false name, his true nature hidden from everyone around him.
By which I mean it’s all probably, possibly, maybe not a fucking coincidence at all.
For me, personally, this is more than enough to convince me. The Huffines bought Zorro because someone wanted them to. Who that someone is, I do not know. Someone Donald Huffines desperately wanted to impress. Someone powerful who might help him become more powerful, too. But we can connect some dots and come up with some hypotheses. If you’re as tired of reading this piece as I am of writing it right now, I can also save you some pain and just blurt out what I think.
And this is just my opinion, okay?
I think all roads lead back to intelligence operations. I think there are three of them. I think those three are the CIA, Mossad, and various Russian intelligence agencies. I think that despite those agencies being associated with three distinct countries, the assets, agents and operatives of all of them mostly serve a global oligarchy of extremely, obscenely wealthy people. People like the president of the United States. And I think that because a lack of conscience is generally required to become an extremely, obscenely wealthy person, most of the people these agencies serve are fucking psychopaths with a lot of fucking power.
Those are the kinds of people most likely to be bored enough, rich enough, misogynist enough, racist enough, and sick enough to run child sex trafficking rings and honeytrap schemes to entrap everyone they’d need to entrap to get even more money and power, while hurting (and probably sometimes killing) girls and women in the process. And yes — baby farming, for biotech. Epstein told scientists and associates for years that he planned to use Zorro Ranch specifically to impregnate up to twenty women at a time with his DNA. He called it seeding the human race. It was not a secret. Southern Trust Company — his Virgin Islands entity, the same one Karyna Shuliak worked for — filed documents disclosing it was engaged in DNA analysis. So when I say baby farming, I’m not speculating. I’m using his words for his own stated plan, at that ranch, which a family with a son in the Trump White House now owns, a family that finances a company that requires freshly harvested neonatal cardiac cells to operate.
There. Right there. That’s where I think all the money involved with Zorro Ranch leads, eventually. To All That Shit. To all those pieces of shit. To the most concentrated, powerful, wealthy, depraved and disgusting cabal of human beings to ever walk the earth.
No, no, everything’s fine. We’ll all be fine. And by that, of course, I mean — well. We’re not fine at all. Not even a little.
Look around.
Unbelievable, and yet completely believable 😔
You are a badass. Enough of us have come to those conclusions after your reporting, Sarah Kendzior’s books, and Ellie Leonard’s transcriptions that we should all scream it from the rooftops, now. They can’t kill us all. Not sneakily, anyway.