Alisa, once again I find your writing so incredible! I know it must sound trite, but I don’t know what else to say. I admire your bravery of expression!
I think you are the best writer whose work I have had the good fortune to read. Your depth of understanding, authenticity, humanity, humility, and honesty come through in spades. I appreciate your deep dive into this one.
What I am about to say should be taken with a grain of salt as I am an atheist; what you have written here and expressed here with perfect accuracy is the purest form of spirituality I know, seeing yourself in another. To see this, to genuinely walk that mile, is the very essence of what I’ve understood from every spiritual path I’ve studied…that there is not a nickels difference between us at depth. Maybe the Beatles said it best “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together….”
I was going to write my own (first ever on Substack comment) because I was so moved by her piece but you said it better than I ever could. Exactly this!
Thank you so much for this piece. I will not out anyone by saying how I understand but I do understand more than you may suspect for a privileged white dude. You go girl.
Alisa, if only we all had this self-awareness that you have honed through the fire of living. You seem not to have wasted a bit of it. It was the first thing I read this morning, and it was overwhelming and a privilege to be in the presence of your words. We are so cruel and Freud expressed this at the end of his life, with all that work (like it or not) behind him. Humanity is doomed when we are only driven by instinct. This is an example of such a person. On the other hand, this week, I fell and broke my ankle in Italy. I couldn't move. 3 strangers, all men, came to my rescue, called an ambulance, stayed with me, gave me water and lemonade, and cared for me until I got into the ambulance. Not a word of English was exchanged. I spoke my best cryptic Italian. But kindness and goodness prevailed. There is evil and there is goodness. And what do we do with that but lean toward the light of love.
This one spoke to me. I am 72 and have had body image issues all my life. I vividly remember the day my mother tried to bribe me to lose weight. She knew I wanted a cat and my “thin blond” older sister offered a camera. Naturally, it only made me eat more. I still carry that with me.
Beautifully written! But more importantly you have a gift of insight and compassion. I’m sorry that your childhood was so messed up. My mom always said it didn’t matter if you were pretty outside unless you were pretty inside. Pretty inside meant character virtues such as compassion, kindness, generosity, loving your neighbor (everyone). We had our issues, my mom and I, but your mom makes me grateful that I didn't suffer your childhood.
Thank you for your words. I hope you are on a journey of healing.
What you so adroitly described was that woman’s primitive rage bursting forth. In your essay, you were able to make accessible the understanding of where that type of pain originates from—and illuminate the fact that so much of the viciousness we see being expressed in our society today has origins in childhood. Transgenerational trauma can be passed through parent-child dynamics going back many generations. (Depth work is often required to break the cycle of psychic abuse.) The fact that you were able to speak compassionately about this condition is a gift to everyone reading your work. There is a woman in England who specializes in working compassionately with the walking wounded. She writes at length about her experiences with this particular population on the website Eggshell Therapy. So for anyone out there struggling with “Sudden and uncontrollable rage,” please know that help is available.
And thank you for speaking up for all of those whose parents could not love them in the way they needed to be loved. Sadly, self-hatred runs rampant amongst the female population in today’s society. Your calm, clear voice of compassion is an invitation to the rest of us to heal ourselves… and reach out to support the healing process of one another. I see you. I bless you. I honor you. I am you.
I must say it is hard to have sympathy for anyone acting so completely vile. How kind of you to see what might have led to this woman and her behavior. She seemed to be having some kind of psychotic break, although it looked more like she was demon possessed, spitting, etc. I hope her victim gets all the support she needs to survive this trauma. Air travel is hard enough without being subjected to Air Karen.
What a waste of space. She is awful.
Alisa, once again I find your writing so incredible! I know it must sound trite, but I don’t know what else to say. I admire your bravery of expression!
Thank you.
I think you are the best writer whose work I have had the good fortune to read. Your depth of understanding, authenticity, humanity, humility, and honesty come through in spades. I appreciate your deep dive into this one.
Thank you.
Spider Grandmother is proud of you.
Ever since I saw that video I’ve had so many thoughts. You put into words how I was feeling and you did it so eloquently. Thank you for this.
You're welcome, Heather.
My exact thought.
What I am about to say should be taken with a grain of salt as I am an atheist; what you have written here and expressed here with perfect accuracy is the purest form of spirituality I know, seeing yourself in another. To see this, to genuinely walk that mile, is the very essence of what I’ve understood from every spiritual path I’ve studied…that there is not a nickels difference between us at depth. Maybe the Beatles said it best “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together….”
You nailed it.
I was going to write my own (first ever on Substack comment) because I was so moved by her piece but you said it better than I ever could. Exactly this!
Write it! 💓
There’s plenty of space for your voice, get writing!
This is the perfect response, full of humanity and strength and wisdom. Brava.
I love this. Very well done!
Thank you for these powerful words and thought.
Thank you so much for this piece. I will not out anyone by saying how I understand but I do understand more than you may suspect for a privileged white dude. You go girl.
Alisa, if only we all had this self-awareness that you have honed through the fire of living. You seem not to have wasted a bit of it. It was the first thing I read this morning, and it was overwhelming and a privilege to be in the presence of your words. We are so cruel and Freud expressed this at the end of his life, with all that work (like it or not) behind him. Humanity is doomed when we are only driven by instinct. This is an example of such a person. On the other hand, this week, I fell and broke my ankle in Italy. I couldn't move. 3 strangers, all men, came to my rescue, called an ambulance, stayed with me, gave me water and lemonade, and cared for me until I got into the ambulance. Not a word of English was exchanged. I spoke my best cryptic Italian. But kindness and goodness prevailed. There is evil and there is goodness. And what do we do with that but lean toward the light of love.
What a wonderful, graceful write up. Thank you for sharing your words.
This one spoke to me. I am 72 and have had body image issues all my life. I vividly remember the day my mother tried to bribe me to lose weight. She knew I wanted a cat and my “thin blond” older sister offered a camera. Naturally, it only made me eat more. I still carry that with me.
Beautifully written! But more importantly you have a gift of insight and compassion. I’m sorry that your childhood was so messed up. My mom always said it didn’t matter if you were pretty outside unless you were pretty inside. Pretty inside meant character virtues such as compassion, kindness, generosity, loving your neighbor (everyone). We had our issues, my mom and I, but your mom makes me grateful that I didn't suffer your childhood.
Thank you for your words. I hope you are on a journey of healing.
What you so adroitly described was that woman’s primitive rage bursting forth. In your essay, you were able to make accessible the understanding of where that type of pain originates from—and illuminate the fact that so much of the viciousness we see being expressed in our society today has origins in childhood. Transgenerational trauma can be passed through parent-child dynamics going back many generations. (Depth work is often required to break the cycle of psychic abuse.) The fact that you were able to speak compassionately about this condition is a gift to everyone reading your work. There is a woman in England who specializes in working compassionately with the walking wounded. She writes at length about her experiences with this particular population on the website Eggshell Therapy. So for anyone out there struggling with “Sudden and uncontrollable rage,” please know that help is available.
And thank you for speaking up for all of those whose parents could not love them in the way they needed to be loved. Sadly, self-hatred runs rampant amongst the female population in today’s society. Your calm, clear voice of compassion is an invitation to the rest of us to heal ourselves… and reach out to support the healing process of one another. I see you. I bless you. I honor you. I am you.
Beautiful writing. Razor sharp insight and achingly accurate compassion. Thank you for this piece.
Thank you🙏🏼
I must say it is hard to have sympathy for anyone acting so completely vile. How kind of you to see what might have led to this woman and her behavior. She seemed to be having some kind of psychotic break, although it looked more like she was demon possessed, spitting, etc. I hope her victim gets all the support she needs to survive this trauma. Air travel is hard enough without being subjected to Air Karen.
Brilliant writing!